Domestic Violence: An Integrative way to connect with the problem
Hannah Clarke (8 September 1988 – 19 February 2020) was an Australian woman who was fatally burned in a petrol fire in her car in a murder- suicide by her estranged husband, Rowan Baxter, along with their three children, on 19 February 2020 in Camp Hill, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. The murders sparked a national debate about domestic violence in Australia,
Let’s start with some contact phone numbers.
In an emergency call the Police and ambulance on triple zero. (000)
DVConnect Womensline 1800 811 811
DVConnect Mensline 1800 600 636
1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Lets look at the Law of Grace as explained by John Van Auken.
So often, it is easy to blame domestic violence on a tradition. It is the way we have always reacted. No, often we are just followed learned responses that have been observed or inherited. Let us look at our species as inheriting 180,000 years of history recorded in the DNA of the nucleus in each cell of our bodies. We are really connected in some small way to that past history of grievances. We then carry these energetic imbalance records with us as a history or Karma for the many reasons why we are so far out of balance. There is a way out of repeating these “As you sow, so shall you reap” reactions in life. It needs a new vision of non-violence, an action plan and a real measure of the situation
John Van Auken talks about going from Karma to Grace. John has worked for many years, with the Edgar Cayce (Sleeping Prophet) organisation called the Association for Research and Enlightenment (ARE) based in Virginia Beach, USA.
“As [one] sets itself to accomplish that which is of a creative influence … no longer is the entity under the law of cause and effect or karma, but rather in grace.”– Edgar Cayce reading 2800-1
In this uplifting commentary, author John Van Auken reveals the simple yet profound path that takes one from living in the grind of karma to the light and peace of grace. Using the foundation of spiritual living found in the psychic readings of Edgar Cayce and the “Fruits of the Spirit,” Van Auken weaves a tapestry of love and light, of freedom from karmic reactions, of hope and happiness.
Learn how you can improve your relationships, embrace a happier and healthier life, and realize your soul’s full potential as you:
Expand your horizons
Awaken latent talents
Attract positive people and circumstance
Subdue negative and destructive patterns
Tools, thinking and measures to make a difference.
The Now, Where and How approach to Life and events.
Let us see if we are able to find a new direction for our lives and events by using the Now, Where and How model approach. Start with a Where, to set a new intention for yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. Next measure the Now. Then work out the New How and what to do differently. It uses a similar approach to ACT, Acceptance, Commitment Therapy.
Spend time setting new intentions, Hope and directions.
Step one is to pick a new theme song for this experience from a Highly Sensitive heart-based Person, an HSP. Usually an HSP has a long thin rectangle body shape. Other body shapes are Round bodies like Earth Mothers and huggers. The third shape, is that of a soldier square body shape. Use Heart based music with heart-based thoughts. Let the music be your companion.
Here are some possible inspiring songs confirming the heart beauty that resides within you.
- Cyndi Lauper – True Colors. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPn0KFlbqX8
- Lindsey Stirling – Shatter Me/Lizzy Hale .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49tpIMDy9BE
- Nattali Rize – One People. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNQTZ_lxLXs
- Taylor Swift – Shake it off. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
- Yantara Jiro – Crystal Bowl Mediation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWhGgTcNoPg&list=RDTmo-sYelydE&index=3
- Stay calm with the Fifth Element Diva Dance while all around you appears to be falling apart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3XNfLd78TM
- JS Bach. Toccata and Fugue. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0nRPDfpbkY
- Your choice…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Let us Set new heart and soul-based Intentions.
You are the only person that you can change. “If it is to Be, then it is up to Me.” So, let us stop wishing the other person is going to change or make the shift. We are the ones who need to own our situations and make the first step on a new path and direction. So, what does your non-violence situation look like for you.
Have a look at the attached Duluth Equality Wheel and record your vision for Equality.
My new Equality Wheel looks like these evolving thoughts and direction.
|1. Non-threating Behaviour. Have you included a zero-tolerance policy?
|3. Trust and Support.
|4. Honesty and Accountability
|5. Responsible Parenting
|6. Shared Responsibility
|7. Economic Partnership
|8. Negotiation and Fairness.
|9. My Passion to get me out of bed and face the day.
Lets look at the way we are thinking.
Lets look at Encompassing Thinking instead of Duality thinking. How can we think differently from our current duality thoughts.
A compass looks like this. We seem to give a lot of importance to just the North and South points.
A compass traditionally is used for direction across the surface of the earth. Like so
So often in the western world we use Duality thinking of North and South, Right and Wrong. King and servant. Boss and slave. Perpetrator and victim. Male and female. Let us start considering Encompassing thinking where each of the 360 degrees in the compass are valid ways to view an event. All 360 degrees are just thoughts where no one thought is truly Right and none are truly wrong. They are all just another way to view an event. This takes away the need for blame, and someone being right and someone being wrong.
Encompassing thinking encourages us to see the compass points from a different perspective.
Consider, the North direction looks at the past while the South direction looks to the future, rather than just a direction in a physical and material world, on a flat earth.
Now imagine West is down into the Earth, dark, lack of energy, weakness and the end of your old way of life. This is where you get grounded, measure you situation and start planting, nourishing and growing your new direction.
Now imagine the East direction as pointing up towards the Sun, light, energy, strenght and new beginnings. Once your new direction surfaces above the Ground Zero level, feel the warmth of the Sun light. Grow wings and fly. Soar above your past and future. “Shake it Off.” In yoga with the start of each new day we “Salute the Sun”. We fill our solar plexus, belly button area with new energy and Qi to get through just this day. Take a day at a time. Put off some of the pressures of today and transfer a few of the items on “Your important to do list” on to the list for tomorrow or even to next month. Concentration on the planning that needs to be done today.
Quotation: “Why do birds sing in the morning? It’s the triumphant shout: “We got through another night!”. Enid Bagnold. Source https://www.greetingcardpoet.com/bird-quotes-eagles-owls-crows-turkeys/
Lets look at the measure of the present events and situation.
To move forward it is always important to realise what really is the situation. The Duluth Power and Control Chart is a good start to measure and realise the signs of your reality.
Fill out this list to confirm in your mind what it is that you are experiencing now
|1. Using Intimidation.
|2. Using Emotional Abuse.
|3. Using Isolation.
|4. Minimizing, Denying and Blaming.
|5. Using Chjildren.
|6. Using Gender Privileges.
|7. Using Economic Abuse.
|8. Using Coercion and threats.
Let us now look at the How to, build an Action plan and commitment for change.
Let us start with Research and people to talk with.
- 1800 Respect. 1800 737 732. https://www.1800respect.org.au/
- DVConnect Womensline 1800 811 811
- DVConnect Mensline 1800 600 636
- White Ribbon. Specifically, for Women. https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/.
- Finding contact numbers https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/find-help/domestic-violence-hotlines/
- No to Violence 1300 766 491 https://ntv.org.au/get-help/
- Specifically, for Men 1800 65 64 63. https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/domestic-violence/my-situation/im-a-man
- Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/
- In an Emergency Police and Ambulance Phone 000.
- In Queensland also ring 13Health 13 43 25 84. https://www.qld.gov.au/health/conditions/online
- Mentoring Men. https://mentoringmen.org.au/ Brisbane QLD
- Perfect Wellness https://perfectwellness.com.au/ Paddington QLD
Embrace. Supportive Community Resources. https://www.embracewi.org/supportive-community
Item 4 has a list of things to take with you.
Talk with your Doctor.
See if you can be put a a Access to Better Health Plan to include subsidized 5 visits a an allied health Practitioner including a Psychiatrists, Psychology or a Social Worker.
Access to other professionals.
Refer to our links pages on our website
In Summary complete a Now Where and How analysis and take steps to fly again.
Our thoughts should expand from the scope of domestic violence to include all our ways of how we are running the planet, that are now so far out of balance. We can apply these thoughts to work place and school bullying, military training and tours of duty that causes PTSD, Corporate Chairmen, CEOs and wealthy individuals who perpetrate the use of tax havens, accountants and lawyers who facilitate these tax haven transactions, food chemists who add excessive sugars and addictive substances to food preparations, bankers who facilitate money laundering, environmental polluters, slave labour users, as well as race, sex, colour and religious abusers. We are not along.
Have a look at the Vision set out by the Thrive Movement: their website and free download video.